How To Improve Self Esteem

how to improve self esteem

Having a good opinion of yourself – in other words good self esteem – is one of the most important factors in being able to feel happy or content and able to enjoy the life you lead.

We all have bad days when we lack confidence and doubt our own abilities but when this becomes a regular or daily event then low self esteem has become a problem that needs to be addressed.

So if this is something you are struggling with then you probably want to know how to improve self esteem and climb out of the slump you find yourself in. Well, you’ve come to the right place because these are some of the ways I’ve found to help.

How To Improve Self Esteem

  • Tell yourself a different story. Every day we talk endlessly to ourselves and without realising it, you are probably telling yourself a lot of negative things. Start becoming more aware of when this is happening. When you find yourself thinking things like “I can’t do this” or “I don’t deserve this” you are subconsciously making that your reality. Remember these are only thoughts and you have total control over what you think. Start replacing negative thoughts with more positive ones.
  • Focus on your strengths and ignore your weaknesses. Everyone has things that they are good at and things which they are not so good at. The problem is – most of us spend far too much time dwelling on our faults and weaknesses and comparing ourselves to people who are good at the things we struggle with. For example my friend is a much better golfer than me and if I was to simply  dwell on my golfing ability in comparison to him then I would feel very bad about myself. Take some time to work out what your strengths are – what is it that you do well? Spending more time remembering the good things about you will give you a boost to your self esteem.
  • Change your inner circle. John Lee Dumas always ends his Entrepreneurs On Fire podcast by reminding listeners that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Think about who you spend your time with and if they are people who reinforce negative thoughts about you then you need to consider spending les time with them and finding people who are more supportive of you.
  • Do something you can be proud of. This is a great way to build your self esteem while at the same time doing something to help others. Find a way to volunteer – perhaps by helping your favourite charitable organisation in some way. The people you help out will be grateful for what you do and receiving their thanks will make you feel good about yourself. Remember – if you do good things to others, they tend to do good things to you in return.
  • Become more assertive. When you have low self esteem you often find yourself agreeing to do things you don’t want to do. Try to become more assertive. This is not the same as being aggressive or dominant. It simply means that you respect the thoughts and wishes of others and expect the same from them in return. Learn to say No. It’s easier if you also explain why you are saying No. Remember – if you act like a mat, don’t be surprised if people walk over you!
  • Make time for yourself. This can be hard if you work full-time or have kids or other responsibilities but it’s really important to find time for the things you love and want to do. Whether it’s something small like time spent reading or watching a favourite TV program or something bigger like a night out or a vacation, showing your subconscious that you value your own enjoyment will boost your self esteem.

When you know how to improve self esteem you will unlock the doors to personal happiness, self confidence and success. Many of these tips might seem very simplistic on the surface but simple solutions are often the most powerful ones.

I know from my own experience that when I learned how to improve self esteem I started to realise what potential I had and it opened my eyes to achieving more in life. Try it for yourself and be pleasantly surprised!

How To Build Self Confidence

We all admire people who have self confidence and probably wish we could be a bit more like them. After all confident people seem to be among the happiest people we know and they always seem to be able to achieve the goals they set themselves.

In general, confident people achieve more success and live life on their own terms.

What about You? Would you like some of that too?

In this article I want to share with you my 10 favourite tips to help you learn How to build self confidence for yourself.

How To Build Self Confidence

  1. Get Some Exercise. Before you sigh too deeply or roll your eyes, I’m not suggesting you start training for the marathon or become a bodybuilder. However, taking some moderate exercise will improve your fitness and general health as well as leaving you feeling better about yourself. Completing a workout gives you a sense of achievement which helps you to feel more positive about the next challenge.
  2. Tackle some negatives. Take some time to think about the things that irritate or annoy you in your life and write them all down. Once you’ve written them down, start thinking about what you can do to eliminate or lessen them. Then take action! Dealing with problems is a great boost to self confidence
  3. Give your ego a boost. Think about the things you are good at and write these down too. You might actually surprise yourself at how big your list might be. Rather than focus on things you struggle with, remind yourself regularly of the things you actually do well.
  4. Be yourself. We all out on different faces to some extent in different situations but make sure it doesn’t get to the extent where you aren’t being true to the real you. Take pride in being the individual that you are and let other see what a great person you are too.
  5. Stop feeling inferior. If you regularly find yourself thinking that “I can’t do it” or “I can’t have it” or “I don’t deserve it” then you need to change your mindset now. When one of these thoughts enters your head, dismiss it and tell yourself the opposite instead.
  6. Relish a challenge. When faced with a challenge, instead of just shying away from it or avoiding it, make yourself face up to it. Consider what you can do to overcome problems such as research, trying alternative methods, or asking for help.
  7. Challenge self-doubt. Sometime thoughts of self-doubt are good to prevent you from getting into trouble but usually they are just negative thoughts that will hold you back from achieving the things you want. Next time you doubt your abilities ask yourself if the doubt is valid. Be honest with yourself. If its not then its time to dismiss the emotion and believe in yourself.
  8. Change your outlook on failures. It’s inevitable that you will fail from time to time and if you are low on self confidence then this can just make you feel even less confident. The trick is to stop focusing on the failure and instead ask yourself what you have learned from the failure and use it to make better decisions the next time. Keep reminding yourself that a failure is actually a learning opportunity.
  9.  Take ownership of your problems. If you really want to know how to build self confidence then take note of this tip. I am always amazed at the lengths that people go to, to avoid taking responsibility for their circumstances. If you have problems to deal with then start looking for solutions to them today. Don’t wait for other people to sort them for you – do it yourself! Being brave and decisive in your actions will boost your confidence enormously.
  10. Trust yourself. Your life experiences to date will have given you the instincts you need to make decisions about what to do. Trust your instincts and when you need to make a choice – go for whatever your gut is telling you. Occasionally you might be wrong but more often you will be glad you trusted yourself and it breeds self confidence for future decisions.

So there you have it – 10 of my favourite tips on how to build self confidence.

If you found this helpful you might benefit even more from my book 10 Minute Power-Confidence. You can read more about it here:

How to Manage Stress By Improving Your Communication Skills

how to manage stress

Stress is a part of everyday life.  It can creep up at the most convenient or inconvenient times.  Whether small or large, the causes of stress are wide and varied, bringing with them intense emotion and excitement.  But even amid pressures and not so expected events, you can manage to find peace in the face of conflict.

The question is: What is the best way to deal with stress, when it feels as though every emotion within you is racing?

Listen

If you’re stressed over everything under the sun, your emotions are running on hyper speed.  Your thoughts are moving faster than a freight train, and you can’t seem to sort out thoughts.

When this happens, you have already been propelled into the fight or flight mode.  Your brain is trying to put the puzzle pieces together.  And most likely, you don’t have time to hone in on how you feel about the situation.

Slow down.  Grab the reins, and get in touch with what you are feeling.  Sometimes people find it hard to communicate their own thoughts when they’re stressed.  But stress management requires that you get in touch with yourself.  When you take time to really get to know yourself and your feelings about the situation, you are that much closer to figuring out how to solve the problem.

Communication

Sometimes just talking things out with a friend or close loved one can ease the stress of the situation.  A spouse can sometimes see things in you that you can’t always see in yourself.

When you open up to a significant other, you make yourself vulnerable to your true fears and feelings about the stress at hand.  And you are finally able to release some stress.

Tell your partner what they can do to help ease your stress.  And if possible, ask for a back rub.  Not only does this feel good, but also it helps you get rid of some of the physical symptoms of stress.

Your muscles tense up when you’re stressed, and your breathing quickens.  A soft massage helps loosen muscle tightness and encourages deep breathing, which in turn, will help you get rid of stress’ physical manifestations.

If you talk to a family member or close friend, ask if they have any suggestions.  Other people may sometimes be able to give you advice on how to alleviate your stress.  As a means of stress management, talking about the source of your stress helps get out emotions that are bottled up inside of you.  It also gives others the opportunity to help you out.

Communicating, as a stress management technique, can be done in a number of ways.  For example, you may find that recording your thoughts in a journal or diary is a great way to get stressful feelings outside of your body and onto an external source.

When you write in a diary, you can also keep a record of your life and what may be bothering you.  And you can always go back and read later to see how you’ve improved.

When you’re under any kind of stress, good or bad, you tense up emotionally as well.  When you keep these feelings inside, you can feel as though you’re about to burst.

To avoid this problem, or to at least cut down on your pressure, don’t let the burden rest on you alone.  If the problem rests on you to solve it, try to develop a game plan, and ask someone if they will be there to talk to you and help you through each step of your stress.

People are generally very receptive when they know you’re under stress.  Also, it may help to ask your partner to share the responsibilities of taking care of your home and family.  If you’re too stressed out at the end of the day, ask your partner if they can put the kids to bed or make dinner, if that is usually your responsibility.

Take a stress management seminar.  A lot of states, provinces and community centers offer stress management seminars.  These seminars simulate stressful situations, and often give you the opportunity to vent your feelings about a stressful situation.  They may even act out stressful scenarios to see how you respond.

Attending these seminars gives you the opportunity to communicate your own feelings and get feedback from others.  Stress management seminars usually average about two hours in length, and are a great way to channel negative energy into a constructive solution.

When you find yourself getting stressed, it’s important to remember that communicating your feelings or venting frustrations are great ways to take the pressure off your heavy heart and onto someone who can help you.

Friends and family are some of your greatest sources of stress relief.  They are there to offer help and guidance.  Take this help, and run toward a more sane life!

A Lesson in Self-Confidence from Winston Churchill

self-confidence

My wife and I went to the cinema recently to see the film “Darkest Hour”. The film tells the story of Winston Churchill during the early days of his time as Prime Minister of Britain during the Second World War.

It’s a fantastic film and I really recommend you go to see it if you haven’t already done so.

One of the things that stood out for me was the incredible courage and self-confidence shown by Churchill at this point during the war, when Britain’s fate in the war looked very uncertain. The German armies were marching across Western Europe defeating all before them and an invasion of Britain seemed inevitable after the imminent loss of the vast majority of the British army in Northern France.

Churchill had formed his war Cabinet of senior politicians and advisors to help direct the British war effort but from the very start it seemed that rather than supporting him, they opposed Churchill’s plans to evacuate the British army from France and begin the fightback against Germany.
Even the two most senior members of his own party, Chamberlain and Halifax, opposed his plans to fight and tried to persuade him to negotiate a peace treaty. Churchill was adamant that a peace treaty would be futile and the only course of action was to fight.

Where on earth did he find the self-confidence to stand up against such overwhelming pressure and lead Britain to eventual victory in the war?

No doubt there are many factors that contribute to self-confidence but one of the most important ones is having the help and support of people around you. In Churchill’s case the rock that he was able to lean on when he needed that support was his wife Clementine. It was Clementine who encouraged him to take on the role of Prime Minister and she was there to support and encourage him when the pressure to back down and negotiate a peace treaty would have been almost irresistible.

In Churchill’s own words “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” He knew how important it was to surround himself with supportive people!
None of us are ever likely to face a situation as perilous as Churchill but we all face challenges in our daily lives.

How do you feel when problems crop up? Do you feel confident in your own ability to deal with them or do you always have that nagging voice in your head which says “I can’t do this”.
Don’t worry if you do – we all experience this feeling known as self-doubt from time to time. So what can we do to relieve these feelings of self-doubt and build confidence in ourselves?
One of the first things you need to do is follow the example of Churchill in his Darkest Hour. You see one of the major causes of self-doubt is people who either fail to support you or who actually fuel your negative feelings.

Don’t listen to people who bring you down. They are like a poison for your mind and a drain on your energy.

Be careful of your friends. If you have friends who are frequently negative about things then start to politely distance yourself from them. Don’t allow their negativity to rub off on you.
Churchill’s closest allies in his war cabinet should have been his political colleagues, Chamberlain and Halifax, but they were constantly negative about his plans and tried to talk him out of what he believed in.

Churchill’s response was to distance himself from them and instead listen to supportive people such as the King and his wife. People who believed in him and encouraged him.
Be aware of friends who think they are doing you a favour by talking you out of doing things. This will subconsciously reinforce any thoughts you have that say you can’t do things.

Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you or reassure you when times get tough. Friends and family can be good sources of support but I know of people who find a supportive stranger such as a therapist or coach to be effective too.

Identify those people who support you, and nurture your relationships with them. They will be important for giving you strength and confidence when feeling down.
There are many ways to help improve your self-confidence but the first thing you should do is follow the example of Churchill by surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people and distancing yourself from those who are negative.

This will help you develop the confidence you need when faced with your own darkest hours.

 

 

How Eating A Healthy Diet Can Help Beat Stress

As most people know, eating a healthy diet is great for your body. It promotes good nutrition and gives you energy. But did you also know that it’s a great stress management technique?

According to experts, eating a diet of fruits and vegetables can improve your health and prolong life. In my own quest to get healthy many years ago, I decided to go on a diet. The foods I was eating made me feel a lot better, and as a result, reduced my stress. The food I had been eating up until that point was high in fat and cholesterol.

Foods that are high in cholesterol have a tendency to make you feel stale and lethargic. This is why it’s so important to eat these foods in moderation.

Eat slowly. When you eat slowly, you really get to experience what you are eating, and as a result, you feel more satisfied when you’re finished.

When you eat healthily, you feel better. You have more energy, and not surprisingly, you are happier. Healthy foods have the tendency to make you feel happy. And this would only seem natural. A healthy body is a happy body, right?

The important thing to remember when using diet as a stress management technique is that some foods are better than others. As a general rule, fruits and vegetables make you feel better than a bag of Doritos or a corn dog. Throw in a piece of baked salmon or skinless chicken, and have a recipe for a healthy meal.

When you eat junk food or food that is heavy in grease, you may feel guilty afterward. You know you’ve gone off your diet, if you were on one, and you just consumed a bunch of nasty substances, such as fat and cholesterol.

To relieve stress, consider eating a diet of fruits, vegetables and real food. Real foods are those that occur naturally in nature, such as berries or plants. Also, foods made from dairy products, such as cheese, are equally as healthy.

When you eat these types of foods, you will feel more energetic, and you won’t get hungry so quickly. Unhealthy snacks, like cookies, have very low nutritional content, so you get hungry more quickly afterward.

And of course, a lot of people suffer the inevitable remorse that often follows eating unhealthy food. This causes you to stress. When you eat healthily, you will find that you feel better overall.

Not only do you have more energy, but you feel good about yourself, because you’ve made healthy food choices.

In stress management, it’s critical to clear your mind of negative thoughts. By eating healthy foods, you do not have to feel guilty and stress out.

When combined with regular exercise, eating healthy can have tremendous benefits that will in turn improve your mood.

One other thing to remember is to eat until you’re full. Don’t eat until you’re overly full, even if you’re eating vegetables. Believe it or not, you really can have too much of a good thing!

Don’t go hungry, either. Going hungry has the tendency to make you grumpy, and will put unnecessary stress on you.

In addition to helping lower cholesterol and shed inches from your waistline, some foods can actually reduce your stress.

In fact, drinking more water, at least eight ounces a day, will help you feel full, so you won’t be tempted to snack.

Eat plenty of whole grains. Though many people say carbs make you gain weight, they are a great source of energy. Eaten in moderation, carbs help your body fight bacteria and help your brain stay healthy and alert.

If you’re looking for a low calorie meal that will make you feel relieve stress, try baking some chicken and steaming some broccoli. Cut a potato into slices and top with some cheese.

You will find as the evening goes on that you feel a lot more energetic and at peace with yourself. Be proud of yourself for eating healthily. A meal like this contains around 350 calories and stays with you for a long time.

Foods that boost your mood include the following:

• Fish
• Broccoli
• Peanuts

The important thing to remember when selecting a diet to reduce stress is that you should eat what makes you feel good. If a food makes you feel sluggish and stale, pass it over and opt for an apple.

When combined with exercise, you will find that a healthy diet will reduce your stress levels significantly.

Not only will you get your body in form, but you’re taking a step in the right direction to keeping stress to a minimum.
Now go out there, and grab yourself an apple. Your heart and mind will thank you for it!

Video Sales Letters

I have been spending the last few weeks creating a video sales letter for a new report that I’ve written called “The Pathway”. This is something I became quite interested in after attending a webinar just before Christmas.

Take a look here and let me know what you think. I love getting feedback so please drop be an email.

How I reached Page 1 of Google

I recently mentioned about how I had become interested in video marketing as a tool for search engine optimisation.

To see if I could actually put a video on page 1 of Google searches I trained a colleague of mine how to do it for a project she was doing on marketing a new service in her pharmacy – namely Flu vaccination. We created the video using powerpoint and screencast-o-matic and within 3 days the video was ranked on page 1 of Google for the search terms “flu vaccine in bangor” and “flu vaccine in bangor co down”.

Here’s the video:

I mentioned to my friend Ben Father – who taught me the technique – and he wrote an article about it to all his followers! This is what he said:

I LOVE it when event attendees take action and get results and email me to let me know about it. This is exactly what popped into my inbox yesterday from event attendee, David who flew in for the event:

Hi Ben

Just wanted to say – Your video SEO blueprint really works!
Today I managed to get a video I made last week onto page 1 of Google for the search term “flu vaccine in Bangor”
Bangor is the town where I live and flu vaccines is a service that the pharmacy I work for has recently introduced.
My boss is very impressed so I might start negotiating with them for other ideas!

Cheers!

Thank you David and well done on taking action. If you want to learn from David and support him then you can do what I did and search on Google for “flu vaccine in Bangor”, then click on his YouTube video, watch the video (In full), read the description and finally also click through to the pharmacies’ website.

When at the website, make sure to click through to at least one other page and make your last page that you visit there, the “Contact Us” page. Stay on the contact us page for at least 1 minute.

This will basically help boost the website ranking of the pharmacy’s website ranking to page 1 and the video will probably hover around Page 1 or 2 of Google. If you read this David, you can make the description a bit longer in your YouTube video, which might improve the rankings (You can just copy and paste text from your website page that you are linking to from the video description). Also consider putting the video on your website to help the website’s SEO.

Advanced SEO lesson
This is all quite advanced SEO, so I will explain why I did the above to help David (And you can do the same).

You see – Google is pretty (Very) smart now. We are taking the ideal customer path for David. We search Google and click on the result that we want. Google takes note of this and will put the video up higher on Google because it sees that people are liking it (Especially because we watched the whole video and interacted with the description of the video).

The second part that I mention is to boost the website’s SEO for the same search term “Flu vaccine in Bangor”. Google learns that our ultimate results from searching on Google and watching the video is to visit their website and contact the Pharmacy. By staying on the contact page for at least 1 minute, we are accomplishing a few things from an SEO perspective:

  1. We are reducing the website’s “Bounce rate”. Ie, we are going to at least 1 more page after visiting the website.
  2. We are staying on the website for at least 1 minute. The longer that you stay on a website to get information, the better. Google sees this (Via Google Chrome browser, Google’s tracking on YouTube and Google analytics on the website).
  3. Finally, we went to the contact page and stayed there to replicate what it would be like if we were to make a phone call and contact the Pharmacy, as a real customer might do.

I hope this free advanced SEO lesson helped some of you. And if you want to help David like I did (Please do!), then simply take 5 minutes to do the above few things. You will learn something and help a friend from the event out because the way I see it, is that we are all helping each other.

Video Marketing – The Way Forward?

I recently attended a workshop about internet marketing and I was particularly taken by a presentation from Ben Father which described how he was able to market products and services by creating short videos about the product or service, uploading it to Youtube, and then applying some SEO tactics to it.

I decided to have a go at this myself to try to market my Kindle book - Killing Pain without Painkillers.

Here's my first effort at producing a video - using Powerpoint and Screencast-O-Matic

The Productivity Blueprint is now Available!

Happy Days! I have finally finished my book - The Productivity Blueprint.

Imagine if there was a sure-fire way to:

· Easily finish every task you ever needed to do

· Free up hours of time to do the things you really enjoy

Would you like to hear about it?

The good news is that this is exactly what The Productivity Blueprint will show you with this:

This book has gathered together the best collection I have ever seen of the skills and techniques you need to seriously increase your productivity levels.



Some of the most successful Entrepreneurs and Business owners of all time have used these techniques. People such as Napolean Hill, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn and Tony Robbins.

Start using the strategies in The Productivity Blueprint and:

· Become super-productive without working harder

· Find more time to do what you want to do

· Achieve things you never thought possible

· Create better results in a fraction of the time

· Take control of your present and your future

This is only a taste of what you will learn.

These are skills which anyone can learn and they are Proven to work

Some quick tips to increase your Productivity

1 Manage your Emails betterwoman-739614_640

Getting to grips with your email inbox will massively increase your personal productivity. One of the reasons for this is that in today’s world we all have developed a much shorter attention span and there is a great temptation to jump from what you are doing to something which might seem more interesting or exciting.
This is what happens every time you hear that notification that a new email has arrived. All of a sudden you are overcome with that burning desire to check your email just in case it’s something “important”.
To save time, don’t open up your emails unless you have time to respond. Otherwise you will end up reading the email, coming back to it later, reading it again, and then replying. By only reading emails when you have time to respond to them, you’ll save time because you won’t have to re-read the same email

2 Always remember – First things first!

One of the most difficult things many people find is to start with a job that is either difficult or in some way unpleasant. The problem is – to have any sort of success in life you are frequently going to have to grasp the nettle and do some things that you might not enjoy.
The thing to remember is that the toughest jobs often bring the greatest rewards.
Start every day by tackling the jobs which will make the biggest difference to the success of your business or achieving your goals. Brian Tracy famously refers to this as “eating a frog”.
By getting these jobs done early in the day you give yourself great momentum which will carry in to other things you do that day. This in turn will help to ensure that you get much more done each day and achieve greater success.
Don’t allow time to slip away by doing small stuff that doesn’t push you out of your comfort zone or make a major positive difference to you
By taking real positive action you start taking genuine steps towards achieving what you want in life
And that’s the whole point of productivity after all